Micah can sit up! We found a toy store in Ft. Collins that he loved!


Here's some new photos! Micah isn't smiling in pictures as much because he seems to be curious about the camera :)

The Elusive Heart of Mary....

So it has been a crazy couple of weeks, and the forecast for the next 2 are just as busy. We have been busy preparing to move--we close next week! It's been so fun. I normally HATE to shop but I have been giddy about things like shelf liners and knobs for my cabinets. :) I have also had several rounds of company as well as working quite a bit. I am so thankful for a job (ER RN) that has flexible hours.
Busyness. There is nothing more deadly to my walk with God. And not necessarily a busy day guided by a lengthy to-do list. But a busy mind. My antagonist to a soft heart to the Lord. My enemy to knowing God better. For the past two or three weeks I have had such a busy mind. I hate to admit it, but I have been taking melatonin to get me to sleep most nights. If not I lie awake arranging furniture in my mind or contemplating colors for my accent walls. (Funny thought--Matt couldn't sleep the other night because he couldn't decide where the TV was going to go...it's contagious) I know this isn't wrong in itself, and I'm thankful God gave us the emotion of 'excitement.' But my mind hasn't just sat on God for a while. And I am feeling the effects of that. I can tell that my ear isn't as in tune to his leading, his comfort, his encouragement. My responses to Matt and Micah aren't as gentle or understanding. What a reminder of my desperate need for a Savior! It just doesn't work as well when I put God on my to-do list and then cross him off after a 30 minute bible study. I get nothing more than a false satisfaction that I"m still doing 'OK' spiritually. On the other hand, is there anything sweeter than feeling God piece you back together from a state of brokenness? Is there anything sweeter than a day with a still mind, focused on the faithfulness of God? I think not....
Looking back (all the way back to this morning :) ) I have pinpointed some red flags that I have a busy mind:
*Lack of prayer
*Not starting my times with God in prayer
*Decreased stress tolerance
*Emotional liability
*I avoid times of stillness, which begins a downward spiral
*I think less of others, more of myself


Oh to have a "Mary heart in a Martha world..." I love that story. Look it up in Luke 10. Picture it. Jesus comes to visit the sister's house. Martha immediately begins pouring chips into a serving dish and the salsa into a matching fiesta style bowl. She quickly lights a candle (the scent was no doubt appropriate for the season, for example a 'pumpkin spice' for late October). And as she rushes into the living room to offer Jesus a glass of wine she finds her sister. Sitting on her butt. Mesmerised by Jesus. Listening to his Word. Is she really unaware that there is work to be done?! And yet....Jesus is pleased. In fact, he calls Martha out. He says "Mary has chosen that which is better." In my Bible it says "Martha Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things, but only ONE THING is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part..." (vs 41-42) That illusive one thing. A still mind. A focused mind. A mind and heart of worship. Do you know that every time I read this story I fight the temptation to defend Martha?! Hmm....I wonder why....:)

So I have to share my new favorite Micah moment. We just got our first professional family picture taken and Micah was HILARIOUS. Micah loves when we sing to him, but about a week ago we noticed a unique excitement to the Iowa fight song. So today during the photo shoot Matt and I would sing the song and Micah would start dancing and laughing! And he did it like 10 times. It was hilarious, what a sweet happy baby.
Well, we are off to our church's fall festival. And no, Micah doesn't have a costume. We are horrible parents, but I just couldn't justify $30 to make Micah more adorable. It's superfluous. :)

Thanks for letting me process. I'm gonna go sit on my butt. :)

"You Hem Me In"

Last night at youth group Matt and I separated the boys and girls to give them 'THE TALK.' Relationships and dating are two things that Matt and I are very passionate about, and we are committed to talking about it at youth group, and in fact, talking about it a lot.
So I had a panel of ladies to answer questions from the girls. Let's face it, by junior high most of these kids already know more than I do! (And I have been pregnant!) But what I do know about is the sweet gift of saving myself for my husband and the downpour of blessings that comes with that. It was fun to reminisce on junior high romance. I got some laughs when I confessed to them that when I was in junior high I "dated" one boy. For one day. And he only had one arm. :) It's a true story. (He is an awesome guy, by the way) Then in high school I pretty much only dated one guy and was able to walk out of that relationship with no regrets. And then came my prince charming....in a Herky costume. God has been so faithful in this area of my life. Wow, what an understatement.
As I reflect on last night I am reminded of the promise that my God protects me. I love that verse in Psalm 139 that "You hem me in." I feel God's gentle hands so often, and I picture them. Like His gentle hands are cupped, one in front of me, and one behind.
One to keep me from returning to a lifestyle of sin, or a sin He has already defeated for me. Like Lot's wife I often find myself tempted to look backwards. Beth Moore says it best "Few things are more dangerous than looking back to that from which God has delivered us." I feel myself drawn to the same sins over and over again. In high school it was often flirting with eating disorders, now it is often the sin of a critical spirit and a desire for control. How quickly do conquered sins begin to look attractive again, and how quickly do I forget the burn of the consequences.
And the other is often there to slow me down. Ah, slowing down. I hate slowing down. Just ask that cop that pulled me over going 74 in a 55. (No worries--I got out of it) Or ask my high school cross country team when I would run preseason practices like it was the state meet. But God is so good to keep that loving hand there to serve as a bumper. Whenever I move too fast His hand is there to gently bump me back. It saves me from many a broken heart. Whenever I make hasty decisions it is there to prevent me from carrying out that decision. Often my ideas and plans are bad in themselves, it's just my pace that isn't right. I fully believe I would have zoomed past many lessons and revelations of my Lord if I was going the pace I was choosing.
The Lord's protection amazes me. I can sense it easiest only when I am spending time with Him, pouring out my heart to Him, and searching for His ways in Scripture.

I love Windex Antibacterial Spray....

So I love to clean. I love to pick up, scrub, disinfect, and fold. But I haven't always been this way. In fact I remember fighting regularly with Rachel because I left my clothes on the floor of our bedroom and it drove her nuts. But for the past few years this has been a growing love of mine. It actually started in college when I had a 'less clean' roommate and I was really stressed from nursing school and being engaged and my stress reliever was to pick up after her. :) I'm not a clean freak, I don't mind if people wear shoes in my house and I can leave a dirty dish or two out on the counter. But I definitely love having things in order and germ free.
Anyway, I'm in the pre-packing time right now. I'm not packing up boxes but I'm gutting and organizing our house, in preparation for packing, which is in preparation for moving. :) As I was doing that today I felt a bit convicted. And it definitely wasn't because I don't use eco-friendly cleaners. I felt the Lord tug at my heart a bit because of my motives. When people help us move (oh please someone, help us move....) I want them to think "Wow, Rebekah is really clean." Now if that is as deep as this sin was I doubt I would be blogging about it. But God showed me, again, that I do the same thing with him. I love to tuck in my shirt tail and straighten my tie before I come to Jesus. I often want to clean up before I let HIM move me. And as I clean out closests and drawers, I like to clean up the different corners of my heart, in hopes of impressing Him. Yet he longs that I come as I am. Messy even.
Psalm 51:17 says "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."
I don't have to impress my Lord, that's what grace is for. And even more so, his unconditional love makes it so I don't have to. It hurts a lot less if I just hand over my messiness rather than deny that it's there. The Lord does such a better job of cleaning up my heart than I could ever do. HE is the author and perfector of my faith, I must remember that and stop trying to write my own autobiography on my faith. How I long to replace my pride with brokenness and my busy d0-it-yourself mentality with a quiet stillness before God.

AT THE SAME TIME, I had another thought today on cleanliness, or more accurately, orderliness. I go to our women's bible study and we are studying Genesis. Today we studied creation and Karen Palin gave an awesome talk on the universe. I could not ignore the order that our world was created in! Karen made the point that God is a God of order and that perhaps part of being made in his image includes desiring order. I thought it was such a good point....something to think about.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll go make a mess of something....:)Here is a photo of Micah, just to make the post worth it. :)

Homeowners!

We are buying a house! God is so good! We started looking for homes in August and just put an offer in this past Monday. I am so excited--I wish we could fast forward past all this paperwork and packing and just be in our new home! Here are some pictures!










It's a tri level, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 2 living areas and a great back yard! DeWayne is pretty pumped. It has acoustic ceilings, which I love. The previous tenants were smokers, so we have to do new carpet and paint before we move in. Now for the God story: when we got approved for a loan back in August I felt God leading us to pray for a house for $180.000. Then we started looking at homes and there was nothing, literally, nothing, in our area for that price. We were about ready to resign our lease for our town home when we found this house. Our offer :$180,000. And it was accepted!
I'm so thankful for a God who gives good gifts--lavish gifts! I'm so thankful for a God that provides. And he provides so much more than just finances! He is so faithful to provide strength, wisdom, energy, guidance, and love right when I need it. I'm excited to take this next big step with Matt!
And I'm excited to dig our roots a bit deeper out here in the west, hopefully that will allow us to bear more fruit...

Micah's schedule

Yes, I am 'one of those moms.' I put my child on a schedule. Doesn't it sound so much better to say " I try to stick to a routine." :) To pass the blame, or the credit, it wasn't my idea. But the best behaved children I have seen are all on routines. My step sister in law (that's a mouthful) was the first one I saw, and her kids are amazing. I read the book Babywise, and ask questions like crazy to moms around me. If it weren't for those things I would be so lost. Anyway, this is Micah's routine right now, at 4 months.
7:15ish wake up and nurse
7:45-7:55 Tummy Time
7:55-8:15 "Room time"
8:15-8:45 Time with Mommy, play in Bumbo or Exersaucer
8:45-11:00 Nap
Then we repeat those things and lots of times go for a walk or run an errand
12:30-3:00 Nap
3:00-4:30 Nurse, Tummy Time, play with Daddy when he gets home
4:30-5:30 or 6 "Cat Nap"
6-7 Family Time (usually a walk)
7:00 Nurse
7:30 Bedtime

Room time is something I just started. A couple of friends at church told me about it, and it's in an older book called "Prep for Parenting." I keep Micah's playpen set up in our spare bedroom (because his room is too small) and put him in there on his back (he loves his back) with a few toys. And he loves it. He talks to himself, play with his feet, talks to his toys. My friends said that is helps them to help how to play independently and how to focus. I thought he would hate it but I was wrong! And then once he is mobile he will just play in his room without the playpen. It allows me to shower or clean up, but lots of times I just sit outside the room and watch him! :) Today I went in there and his book was lying on his face. I was tempted to help him, but instead wanted to see him problem solve. He was kinda giggling at the book, rather than being upset. And he kept trying to roll over to no avail. After several minutes of trying to lift the book off of his face he got it! And he looked thrilled! It was the highlight of my morning.
This routine is great, he and I both know what to expect every day, and I can plan social events around his schedule. However, Sundays are out the window because of church and sunday school and youth group. They have been pretty rough for him lately, he pretty much cries in nursery the entire time. ( I would appreciate prayers for this) I'm trying to stay calm about this because it's not going to change. He's a pastors son so Sundays will always be like that. He just glares at me when I tell him that now. ;)

The Greater Work

This weekend Matt asked me to share my testimony at youth group. There's a daunting task. Entertain 70 junior high students with a story that involves no good drama. :) But Matt wanted me to share my story because it was in junior high that God stole my heart. It was 8th grade where I got a taste of the abundant life and then couldn't get enough. I used one of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis about how we are half-hearted creatures that are content playing in a muddy slum when God has offered us a vacation at the beach. To bring this down to their level, I simplified it and said we are content in a sandbox when God has offered us the beach. The main idea (stolen from Lewis) "We are far too easily pleased." I worked on my talk all week. God challenged me with it, I was excited about it, I worked with Matt on it to make it junior high suitable. Sunday night came, I presented my testimony with every ounce of fervor and passion I could muster.
...Then I went to lead my small group.
They didn't get it.
As we went through the prewritten questions, I was depressed at each answer. No one was crying from conviction. No one was jumping out of their seat screaming "I'm ready for the abundant life!!" No one seemed the least bit motivated. Internally I rummaged through every tactic I have learned for youth ministry of how to relate to these girls, how to communicate that Jesus is worth it, that popularity and name brand clothes isn't the end all!
But then I get it.
It's not about me. Or my tactics. Or my skills in relating. I can't take them by the shoulders,(lovingly) shake 'em twice, and say "Get it?!". It is the HOLY SPIRIT. It's Jesus, not me, who is the author and perfectors of faith. I cannot work my magic and then Matt's youth group will transform into a group of sincere, passionate evangelists. They will still be a big group of sweet, funny, sometimes smelly, junior highers. But our God can work with smelly junior highers.
Oswald Chambers has a quote that says "Prayer does not prepare us for the greater work. It IS the greater work." Isn't that so true? My work for this youth group is not primarily Starbucks dates with 8th grade girls, or leading dating talks for the girls, or even cheering them on at a volleyball game. My work, as a pastor's wife, is at home. Monday through Saturday, on my knees. Begging the Holy Spirit to move in power. Praying that the Lord will entice them away, into a dessert as Hosea says, that they would see how fulfilling He is.
And the great news is that the Holy Spirit will do a lot better job than I ever could.