Hats

Anyone remember Amy Grant's song about hats? (Besides my 2 sisters...).The only line I remember is "one day I'm a mother, one day I'm a lover, what am I supposed to do? Hats....." And yes, my sisters and I DID have a dance to this, as well as all of Carol King's Tapestry record.

Anywho. Lately I have been contemplative of the different hats I wear in life. And often when people use that phrase, I pick up on a underlying tone of negativity.

But I love my hats, most days. I'm thankful that I don't just have one hat. My life is pretty varied right now, which I enjoy. I wear the wife hat, the mommy hat, the ER RN hat, the friend hat, and the ministry hat. To name a few.

Lately, I have been prompted to pray regularly how to embrace each role in my life, how to enjoy each, and how to excel in each. And as has become my habit, I believe I will blog a series of entries as I process how to do this.

My first conclusion is that the key to fulfilling each role and wearing each hat wonderfully is prioritizing. My relationship with my God and my creator MUST be number one in my life. In thought, emotion, and deed. My first though in the morning must not be of my to do list, but of my God. Setting aside time to pray and study the Bible must win out over laundry and facebook. :) And blogging.....Nurturing my relationship with God must be my priority over my relationship with Matt, Micah, the new 6th graders at youth group, or my friend....Erin. (just picked a random friend, nobody get jealous...)

But that was a given right? I mean, every good pastor's daughter and wife knows you are supposed to do that. Ordering the remaining hats was more of a challenge, but here is what I came up with:

Wife

Mother

Pastor's Wife

Friend

Nurse

Sorry E.R., you lose. Don't take it personally, I am thankful for the paychecks, and all the gory images that get glued into my head, and the 3 hour nights of sleep that you provide, but you just don't compare right now.

I am convinced that how I live out my role as a wife is HUGE. I believe it affects every subsequent role, especially being a mom. I have been learning that above all, my responsibility as Matt's wife is to pray for him. Yes, it also includes folding his laundry and making INCREDIBLE peanut butter toast, but despite my natural instinct to DO, my highest calling as a wife is to pray for him. To pray that he daily experiences God. To pray for his protection physically, emotionally, and spiritually. To pray for needs that he doesn't know he has. To pray for energy, wisdom, and passion to fill his days. It is a chronically long term process, but I am learning that all the "nagging mis-titled as encouraging/reminding" does nothing for him, but wresting for Matt before God moves mountains.

My other goals for this splendid hat of "wifery" is to be a source of joy for Matt. This is a need specific for my husband. He responds so much better to me when I have a little jump in my step, when I'm quick to make jokes, laugh at myself, or flirt with him. Even when I have 5 kids and spend all my time at soccer practice (please God, please?!) I want to send jokes to Matt over text and always greet him with a sincere smile.

As a wife, I also want to strive to create a home that blesses him. I want to make breakfast a few times a week, I want to DELIGHT to clean up his 'cute' 'little' trail that he leaves for me so that we never get separated and lost from one another. :) I want to tidy up the house at 4:45, rather that watch 30 minute meals. And even when life changes and the forementioned is impossible, I want to attempt to apply the same principle.

And lastly, I want to learn to golf for Matt. I hate golf. I am HORRIBLE at it. And I know how bad Matt wants me to learn. So I'll .....work on....it....or something.

In a Nutshell....

Good morning friends! With the calming hum of 6 bajillion loads of laundry in the background, I believe I am finally ready to blog about Adored.

Adored was awesome. Tough. Fun. Stressful. Incredible. Humbling. Powerful. Terrifying. A blast. Encouraging. Overwhelming.

There ya go, in a nutshell.

By the way, WHENEVER I use the word 'nutshell' (which is probably once a quarter) I want to sing the old theme song to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles....anyone else?

Details! Details! you say? Ok, well, you asked for it. Here comes my processing from the queen of public processing:

(For first time readers, Adored is a conference for girls that I taught at 2 weeks ago. )

Adored was FUN. So much fun. Way more fun that I thought it would be. First of all--we had almost 80 girls! That is a lot of girls. :) Here was the best part--Friday night after the session and small groups we had planned a slumber party. I brought movies and games and kinda pictured the girls all in their corners talking about boys, etc. BUT the King of Fun, aka Matt, put together a song list a few days prior, something my little boring mind didn't think of. :) And the slumber party was transformed into a 2 hour dance party! It was so much fun. My favorite part was the juniors and seniors grabbing the junior highers and dancing! It's amazing the fun that can be had when boys are MIA. :)

On Saturday afternoon we put together a pampering time for the girls. It also went so much better than I could have imagined. We had parafin waxing for their hands, manicures, massages, and scrapbooking. And we even had a girl from church come do make up consultations. The girls loved it! I am so thankful for all the volunteers that helped that part run so smoothly.

But Adored was also terrifying and humbling. First of all, I was sick. And very hoarse. With the mother of all coughs. That's enough right there to put you on your knees. But Friday night, I got up on the stage to teach on Esther. And guys, it was close to miserable. I wasn't myself at all. I was glued to my paper. I sped through it just so it would be over. They didn't laugh at my jokes. The leaders didn't even seem to be tracking! :) It was so humbling. And I could NOT be more thankful for that kind of start.

Because it is when we get the poo scared out of us that we learn anew what it means to depend on a mighty God. I got off that stage and wanted to run away. I wanted to cancel the rest of the weekend. And Saturday a.m. came, and I approached the session trembling. Begging God to show up. To take over. To fill in where I was lacking. To be strong in my weakness. And this was supposed to be THE session. Ya know, every conference has one. The tear jerker talk. I had prepared a talk on Rahab, it was called "All Things New." And as I got up there and prayed aloud, I felt God's presence. And that's all I needed. I felt what I wanted to feel--that I was out of the way and God was doing his thing. Halle-stinkin-lujiah.

There is always a new level of humility to be reach, right? I mean, I am SO far from the humility of Jesus, that I will require numerous more situations like this in my attempts to become a humble vessels for His purposes. There is always new levels of brokenness to obtain and more desperate dependence to learn. I am excited and hesitant to ask God to continue to teach me these things!

And even in my reflecting I feel God humbling me. I feel hesitant to conclude anything big and bold about Adored. Instead, I feel myself drawn to the 'closet' to seek the LORD'S thoughts about the conference, as well as his plans for it. I feel myself drawn to quietness rather than evaluating it with everyone involved. And even in that there is a lesson. The sweet desire to mull over life with God primarily, rather than our husbands, best friends, and coworkers. Because hashing it out with God, babbling to our creator, and kneeling before him in silence leads to understanding, and accurate conclusions. Whether it be about an event, our self image, or our future.

And I also sense a huge need for wisdom as I move ahead. I have NO idea what the Lord would have me do next. Did I love teaching? Yes. But do I have a LOT to learn? Heck yes. Can I do Adored again? Can I continue to work on teaching? How do I go about these things?

But right now isn't the time for specific answers, but rather a time for refinement in my inner most being. And once I can develop what He desires, maybe it will be time for answers and planning.

Here are a few pictures of the weekend:

Thank you to all of you who prayed for Adored. Please continue to pray that teenage girls would catch a glimpse of the God who adores them and that they would realize that how God wants them to live as teenagers is far better than how the world would have them live.

TODAY IS ADORED!!!!! PLEASE PRAY FOR IT! I CAN'T WAIT TO BLOG ABOUT IT SOON! THANKS!