Monday, May 24, 2010


Anyone remember Amy Grant's song about hats? (Besides my 2 sisters...).The only line I remember is "one day I'm a mother, one day I'm a lover, what am I supposed to do? Hats....." And yes, my sisters and I DID have a dance to this, as well as all of Carol King's Tapestry record.

Anywho. Lately I have been contemplative of the different hats I wear in life. And often when people use that phrase, I pick up on a underlying tone of negativity.

But I love my hats, most days. I'm thankful that I don't just have one hat. My life is pretty varied right now, which I enjoy. I wear the wife hat, the mommy hat, the ER RN hat, the friend hat, and the ministry hat. To name a few.

Lately, I have been prompted to pray regularly how to embrace each role in my life, how to enjoy each, and how to excel in each. And as has become my habit, I believe I will blog a series of entries as I process how to do this.

My first conclusion is that the key to fulfilling each role and wearing each hat wonderfully is prioritizing. My relationship with my God and my creator MUST be number one in my life. In thought, emotion, and deed. My first though in the morning must not be of my to do list, but of my God. Setting aside time to pray and study the Bible must win out over laundry and facebook. :) And blogging.....Nurturing my relationship with God must be my priority over my relationship with Matt, Micah, the new 6th graders at youth group, or my friend....Erin. (just picked a random friend, nobody get jealous...)

But that was a given right? I mean, every good pastor's daughter and wife knows you are supposed to do that. Ordering the remaining hats was more of a challenge, but here is what I came up with:

Pastor's Wife

Sorry E.R., you lose. Don't take it personally, I am thankful for the paychecks, and all the gory images that get glued into my head, and the 3 hour nights of sleep that you provide, but you just don't compare right now.

I am convinced that how I live out my role as a wife is HUGE. I believe it affects every subsequent role, especially being a mom. I have been learning that above all, my responsibility as Matt's wife is to pray for him. Yes, it also includes folding his laundry and making INCREDIBLE peanut butter toast, but despite my natural instinct to DO, my highest calling as a wife is to pray for him. To pray that he daily experiences God. To pray for his protection physically, emotionally, and spiritually. To pray for needs that he doesn't know he has. To pray for energy, wisdom, and passion to fill his days. It is a chronically long term process, but I am learning that all the "nagging mis-titled as encouraging/reminding" does nothing for him, but wresting for Matt before God moves mountains.

My other goals for this splendid hat of "wifery" is to be a source of joy for Matt. This is a need specific for my husband. He responds so much better to me when I have a little jump in my step, when I'm quick to make jokes, laugh at myself, or flirt with him. Even when I have 5 kids and spend all my time at soccer practice (please God, please?!) I want to send jokes to Matt over text and always greet him with a sincere smile.

As a wife, I also want to strive to create a home that blesses him. I want to make breakfast a few times a week, I want to DELIGHT to clean up his 'cute' 'little' trail that he leaves for me so that we never get separated and lost from one another. :) I want to tidy up the house at 4:45, rather that watch 30 minute meals. And even when life changes and the forementioned is impossible, I want to attempt to apply the same principle.

And lastly, I want to learn to golf for Matt. I hate golf. I am HORRIBLE at it. And I know how bad Matt wants me to learn. So I'll something.


  1. Nice post! And about golf, we should learn together, or encourage each other in it. Remember thinking that the only good use for a golf course was to run on it?! Now, I'm trying to get the courage to learn, but have no coordination or motivation. We need to start a support group for wives of men who love the sport...

  2. Okay, there you go again, being all convicting and speaking words of wisdom!!! You just ruined my nag fest tonight!! :)

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  4. I wish we were all in the same place at sometime so I could give a few lessons on learning how to love the game of golf. All the different hats that we wear have been something that I have been wrestling through (more wrestling through not wanting to wear particular ones:( A few weeks ago, it hit me that I know what my main hats should be. I know that I wear the hats of being a daughter of Christ, I know I am a wife, I know I am a mommy, I know I am a sister and daughter, I know I am a friend, I know I belong to the Church, I know..., BUT the hard thing for me is loving all those hats and wearing them well. Sometimes I just want to give up on some of them, but thanks for reminding me that for every "hat" I have been given, I have also been given the grace that I need to do persevere. I need to prioritize, but I also need to embrace the opportunity God has given me to wear all my beautiful hats.