Monday, June 7, 2010

Momma Mia

Good morning!
Today is a good day to comment on my role as a mom, the joys of it, and the sacrifices of it. Why today? To prevent me from pouting. Because right now Matt is hiking with the youth group. And I'm at home. (I'll give you a moment to pity me...)

Ok. Done? But really, this is the first junior high hike I have EVER missed. But Micah and I are going on the 7 day mission trip with the youth group this weekend, so I decided I should protect Micah's naps and stimulation level for the days leading up to it. And the hike today would zap away both of his naps. So, I am home. With a good attitude. :) And it is a perfect opportunity to consider my goals, my aspirations, my passions, my convictions about motherhood.

I have just finished my rookie year as a mom. Like any rookie year, it was full of ups and downs, triumphs and failures, learning curves and more learning curves. There were some times of confidence and joy, but even more times of insecurity and brokenness as I cried out "What the HECK am I doing?!"

Here's some mothering snap shots :)

My brain is overflowing with ideas on this topic. I can write paragraphs about my desires to have well mannered children with clean faces and fingernails, how I want them to be kind and joyful, and how I want them to master the left handed lay-up. But yesterday, during a wonderful time of worship at church, my #1 goal became beautifully apparent to me.

I want to be a mother that glorifies God.

I want my job as a mom to bring Him glory. I want the way I mother to point others to Him. I want my focus to be on THAT, not on schedules or organized plastic bins full of toys or signing please and thank you.

So "how do I do that?" I ask myself. I think the recipe includes prayer and dependence on God. Just like one of my greatest jobs as a wife is to pray for Matt, I need to pray for Micah. I pray that he will fall in love with Jesus. I pray that he would be full of joy and compassion (like his Daddy), I pray that he will be a man of conviction in an ever 'gray-ing' society.

I must be dependent on God. As often as I forget this, a little guy that naps and sleeps well and knows how to play independently does not ensure that he will walk the straight and narrow right through adulthood. :) GOD is the author and perfecter of Micah's faith. I will never be able to force righteousness on my kids, and that is TERR-I-FYING. So I must cling to the God who is actually in control. I must hand over my children to the good Lord that I serve.

My desire to glorify God with the 'hat' of mothering takes up like #1-5 on my mental list. Here are some other thoughts further down the list.

I want to be my kids biggest fan.
See the lady on the far left?

She taught me that. She taught all of us girls in that picture that. She is our #1 fan. I don't remember craft time with her. I don't remember her every knitting me a blanket. Or even having 'the talk.' :) But I do remember that she never ever missed a cross country meet. I remember that she even cared about band. I remember that even after grandsons were born, I was still important to her--Micah didn't replace me. I remember a couple months ago calling her every 3 hours to discuss something with Adored, because SHE was confident in me.

Thanks Marmie. :)

And sorry about using all your cell minutes the month of Adored.

And further down the list are these thoughts.
I want to be a mom of order, encouraging structure and organization and self control.

I want to be an active mom, encouraging playing at the park rather than watching the weird shows on TV about dragons and fairies and a interesting little Hispanic girl and her map.....

I want to be gracious and yet firm. This is a very hard balance to learn. After this year I fully believe even babies can be taught. Micah knows that phones and remotes are 'no's.' He knows he must lay still when he is on the changing table. And he sorta knows that we don't blow raspberries when we are eating. But I also let him explore the house and eat dirt and sometimes rocks. :) I let him tackle DeWayne. My parents mastered this principle. We never had curfews, or rules about dating, and we never even were grounded. But they were ALWAYS teaching us values, and principles. And they did that so well, that it prevented the need for the aforementioned.

To sum up, I thought I would give you an update on what a day on mothering looks like.

6:30ish I go for a run, let's be honest-it's a jog. I handed my speedy days off to my bro. Getting up before Micah starts off my day on the right foot. Exercising and getting outside and praying are much needed if I'm going to be a nice mommy. :)
7:00 I don my Mother Hat. Get Micah up and together we work hard at waking up Dad. It's not an easy or quick process. :)
7:15 I make breakfast for everyone.
7:45-8:30 Micah goes to his room to play alone
I clean up the house, start a load of laundry, check email and facebook and blogs....
8:30-9:00 Micah and I usually go for a walk or to the park with DeWayne
9:00-11:00 Micah naps
I read my Bible, write in my prayer journal, talk to my sisters, and try to finish up the load of laundry or another house project
11:00-1:ish We usually run errands together, go meet a friend for lunch, read books, talk about "doooogs", or sometimes go to the park AGAIN
1:00-3:00 Micah naps again
I sometimes garden, read, watch some Food Network, pay bills, clean something, and depending on my work schedule, this is when I nap :)
3:00-5:00 Micah gets up, we sometimes go hang out with youth group kids, play outside, run errands, go to the pool, whatever. It's different everyday.
5:00-6:00 Prep and eat dinner as a family
6:00-7:00 Guess what we do? Park. :) I'm serious. We have THREE parks within 1/2 mile so we are making the most of it.
*I go into work on average 2 times a week. Sometimes I go in at 3, sometimes 5, sometimes 7. I'm so thankful for a flexible job.
7:00 Get Micah in the tub because he is a nasty dirty little boy by that time. Then put him to bed.
7:30 If I'm not at work, I try to 'clock out' for the day--no more chores or boring stuff. Matt and I watch a movie, or a game, or play a game.
10:00 Again, if I'm not at work, it's bedtime, and I'm asleep by 10:03.

SO, I would LOVE to hear from moms our there---what are your goals? Your principles? Your desires as a mom? What keeps you motivated to wear the hat of a mom with excellence? Please share!


  1. Rebekah,
    I hope you know how encouraging you are! As a new mom myself I can relate to so many of the things that you share. Thanks for the great reminder that my child's spiritual health is so much more important than whether or not the laundry is done or the floor is swept :)

  2. I love this! I really think you "hit the nail on the head" with your paragraph on prayer. Abi constantly asks for me to pray for her. It doesn't matter how little or big her problem is, she always wants me to pray for her. Today, we have already prayed that God would help her go potty. We prayed for her to have a happy heart. We prayed that she would be able to put her shoes on with out crying, and we prayed for that little skin that came off her knee. We will keep praying for these things and that God would continue to draw Him to herself in order for her to know the power she can have in praying for herself. I love that Abi constantly asks for me to pray for her. There is something so convicting in a two year old's voice when they ask you to pray. It is almost as if Abi is pleading for me to pray for her. I am pretty sure this pleading to pray season will come and go, but I want to always be praying for her. Even if it is something that is as simple as having joy while putting on her shoes because when she needs joy to love her husband she will know who to call!
    I have also been thinking lately about mothering out of grace. I am not quite sure what this means:) In the season of toddlers, there are days that I am constantly correcting and disciplining. I know it is important to train and correct, but I really want the grace that I have received from God to come out even in those days. I don't deserve anything that I have, and my heavenly Father could correct me all day. His gifts of grace constantly remind me that not only am I forgiven, but I was bought with a price. I am valuable to Him. I want to be a mom that lives out of and acknowledges the grace that I have been given for today, and I don't want yesterdays failures to play into what can be today.
    I'll admit that I often am scared of my mothering hat. Sometimes it is a little embarrassing to wear, and other times it feels a little too big. I feel like it is that hat that is transforming me the most right now. I am so grateful for two little girls that love me just because I wear it!

  3. Isn't it amazing that motherhood is one thing that hasn't changed much over the years. It's naturally teaching, disciplining, and just generally hanging out with those little precious ones that are so dependent and trusting. God is generous and good! I'm just sad for the ones who don't appreciate the gift!