Wednesday, October 16, 2013

To Me. Four Years FROM now. (and all other moms)

Dear Rebekah in four years,

They say you are going to miss this.  They--you know, the people who miss their, uh,  'this'.  The women who survived life with young ones.  The women who shower and brush their teeth and go out for lunch and wear Silpada bracelets.  They say you are going to miss this.

This, being 'the land of the littles.'  This, the trenches of small kids.  Where you were, Rebekah, 4 years ago.  Lately, I have actually been listening to them.  And I want to remind you what you are going to miss.

Eh,first, let's be real.  Here's what you are probably not going to miss.  I'm a realist.  :)

Right now, you are downing coffee faster than is safe, you have on a hoodie and sweatpants from high school.  You get up early most mornings, hoping to find a sanctuary to seek Jesus.  Hoping for even 30 minutes to read the Bible, hear God's perspective through prayer, and sit still.  But it doesn't always happen, in fact, you swear they can smell you get up for the day!  From the first "Mawmmee..." from Mathias' room or the first shriek of joy from Maxwell's crib, you are ON, Rebekah.  You are on until 7:30pm.  You change about 8 diapers a day, you prep 15 meals a day and then fight and bargain and bribe with the older two to eat those meals.  Then, often, you give up and give the leftovers to Max and the dog. Yesterday, you found poop on the bathroom wall and witnessed a new version of CandyLand where the little green piece kills Princess Frostine.  Poor Princess. Rebekah in four years, you might not miss these things, or teething, or the isolation that comes with kids with green boogers.

But they say you are going to miss...this.

And on a good day, when I have had sleep, and a little time alone, I believe them.
On a good week, when I make thankfulness my breath, and cling to God's promises, I think I believe them.

So I don't want you to forget what you are going to miss.

Micah is so precious, Rebekah.  He is so little on the outside, but with personality and fight too big for such a tiny stature. Don't forget how tiny his cute little tush is or how big his doe eyes are.  Don't forget that he wakes up and instead of just saying "Good morning!" he says, "Mom, do people like kids--I mean octopuses?" (?!) Don't forget how good he was with Maxwell at such a young age and how strongly you believed that God was going to change the world through him.  Rebekah, spend time with that kid.  Enjoy him, every ounce of him. Pour out an abundance of grace on him, just like Jesus does for you.

And Mathias, don't forget little Mathias.  He has no limits to the hugs and kisses he wants in a given day.  Don't forget the sweet surprised sound of his voice when you walked in his room every morning, "Mawmee!" (It's like I never get old to him) Don't forget how sturdy he is at 2 1/2, how much he wants to be big like Micah but also still wants to be my baby like Maxwell.  Rebekah, be patient with him as he figures out who he is--that he is not Micah. Help him find his own version of strength, pray that God will use his love for people.

And Rebekah, you are going to miss Baby Max. You are going to miss how fast he can get across a room with that army crawl.  Yesterday, he pulled every baby wipe out of the box, every kleenex, and then every pair of pants from my drawer.  You are going to miss that that's as bad as it gets right now. :) You are going to miss how flexible he is and that he doesn't throw fits yet. Don't forget that he is a gift--a gift you didn't know you were gonna get.

Rebekah, don't forget that as hard as life was at 28, it was SO. GOOD.  Because in between diaper changes and time outs were the tightest hugs and purest excitement for everything.  Don't forget the little hands holding your necklace, the 3 boys piled on you to read a book (that lasts for 2 pages.) You are going to miss having them home all day--going on walks to the jungle.  Which is just the green belt of Highlands Ranch. You are going to miss how much control you have over their days.

Rebekah, at 32 (By the way--you look super fit! Way to go.) , you are going to miss this. I know your life now is not perfectly easy, new lessons need to be learned, hopefully new maturity has been reached.  But you survived--you survived the trenches of littles! So don't forget the deep, deep lessons of life 4 years ago.

That your home is your mission field.  Yes, there are the teenage girls and The Adored Conference, and the "friends in the Mac", but you gotta keep your heart and mind at home!  These little boys need you--your focus, your energy, your love.  These boys do not function well on your leftovers.  So, wherever you are in 2017, whatever ministry opportunities God has brought you, make sure your focus is still primarily on your M's. It'll be worth it. Pray over those boys, pray HUGE prayers.  Teach them of the courage of King David, the purity of Daniel, the passion of Paul.

Gratitude goes a long way, Rebekah.  Make it your daily breath.  Be so thankful for your boys.  Be thankful that you have children to make you so busy. (Although, let me remind you, I'm busier than you. Just saying.) Be so thankful that God loves you enough that he wants to humble you, make you need him, and even wounds that he might heal.  Thank God for your....8, 6, and 5 year old. Every time you thank God--like a real, heartfelt thanks--it pushes discontentment, restlessness, and the blues further from you.

And don't forget, this is a marathon.  Actually, it's more like those trendy military-style races.  The mud pits, barb wired, hay bails, and occasional electric shock.  But it's not a 5k.  It's still a marathon too. So take it a day at a time.  You may be proud and happy that you survived the first leg of mothering, but there's a lot more to come.  I don't have a clue what is hard in the next leg of the race--partly because I haven't been there, partly because I lost my brain in a sippy cup. So, persevere Rebekah.  Run each day, not on your strength, but on God's grace.  Mother in freedom, Rebekah.  Keep your head down, if you will, focusing only on who God says you are, and what he has called you to.

Love those boys Rebekah.  Tell them that Jesus loves them more than you ever could.

Ok, I gotta go.  Your children need fed. Good grief, I just fed them last night...;)


  1. So maybe it's just postpartum hormones but you have made me cry :-) love your honesty and openness. Oh the joys of boys :-)

    1. Thanks Jessica! I'm not postpartum and I still cry regularly. It's just my new hobby :) The joys of boys outweigh the work, right?

  2. Just when I don't think I can be awed by you any further, you write something like this. I love your wisdom, your strength, but most of all, your daily walk with your Savior.

  3. Oh yeah, and by the way, you can have walks in the jungle and so much more if you decide to homeschool...I'm just sayin'..... : )

    1. Thanks Kimmy. :) You play such a wonderful role of buddy/partner/friend/mentor to me. That's a lot of roles!

  4. Great post. I have three teenage boys... 16, 15, and 13 and I will admit that there are moments that I miss this "baby" stage but then I wake up and recognize God's goodness and faithfulness as I see him visibly working in the lives of my three young men. Thanks for being real. Enjoy every stage... each one is a gift.

    P.S. I also have an 8 year old Princess :)

    1. Thank you Carrie! God's goodness and faithfulness is enough for each stage, huh? Thank you for reading, I visited your blog too and enjoyed it very much!

  5. On the heals of an all-nighter for Z's Econ project (which with better planning--or any planning at all would not have been) I am humbled yet again by your writing and the Truths that come screaming at me in THIS stage of mothering. You are so right sweetheart, love how the Spirit lives in and speaks through you. Just what I needed. Love on those littles because they don't fit on your lap the same now even when they try. :)