Thursday, September 24, 2009

I love Windex Antibacterial Spray....

So I love to clean. I love to pick up, scrub, disinfect, and fold. But I haven't always been this way. In fact I remember fighting regularly with Rachel because I left my clothes on the floor of our bedroom and it drove her nuts. But for the past few years this has been a growing love of mine. It actually started in college when I had a 'less clean' roommate and I was really stressed from nursing school and being engaged and my stress reliever was to pick up after her. :) I'm not a clean freak, I don't mind if people wear shoes in my house and I can leave a dirty dish or two out on the counter. But I definitely love having things in order and germ free.
Anyway, I'm in the pre-packing time right now. I'm not packing up boxes but I'm gutting and organizing our house, in preparation for packing, which is in preparation for moving. :) As I was doing that today I felt a bit convicted. And it definitely wasn't because I don't use eco-friendly cleaners. I felt the Lord tug at my heart a bit because of my motives. When people help us move (oh please someone, help us move....) I want them to think "Wow, Rebekah is really clean." Now if that is as deep as this sin was I doubt I would be blogging about it. But God showed me, again, that I do the same thing with him. I love to tuck in my shirt tail and straighten my tie before I come to Jesus. I often want to clean up before I let HIM move me. And as I clean out closests and drawers, I like to clean up the different corners of my heart, in hopes of impressing Him. Yet he longs that I come as I am. Messy even.
Psalm 51:17 says "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."
I don't have to impress my Lord, that's what grace is for. And even more so, his unconditional love makes it so I don't have to. It hurts a lot less if I just hand over my messiness rather than deny that it's there. The Lord does such a better job of cleaning up my heart than I could ever do. HE is the author and perfector of my faith, I must remember that and stop trying to write my own autobiography on my faith. How I long to replace my pride with brokenness and my busy d0-it-yourself mentality with a quiet stillness before God.

AT THE SAME TIME, I had another thought today on cleanliness, or more accurately, orderliness. I go to our women's bible study and we are studying Genesis. Today we studied creation and Karen Palin gave an awesome talk on the universe. I could not ignore the order that our world was created in! Karen made the point that God is a God of order and that perhaps part of being made in his image includes desiring order. I thought it was such a good point....something to think about.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll go make a mess of something....:)Here is a photo of Micah, just to make the post worth it. :)

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